A small rant

Stupidest sayings ever

Are you sure?

Seriously, what kind of question is that? Of course I’m sure. Do you think I’ve taken complete leave of my senses, and don’t understand the question I’m being asked? Unless I’ve just received a serious conk on the head, and you are just waking me up from unconsciousness – don’t ask me that question.

Needless to say…

Then why are you saying it? NEXT!

I could care less

OK, then care less! Does no one notice that almost everyone says this wrong? It’s I couldn’t care less.
OK, McFly, now make like a tree, and get out of here!

Aren’t you excited?

What am I? Eight? Go home and talk to your toddlers.

Are you ready for the holidays?

I never know how to unpack this one. I come from a small family. Most holidays have never been a big affair and less so now that most of my family is dead. That is not to say I don’t have fun during the holidays, but they aren’t the big blowouts that everyone seems to expect everyone else to have. I don’t go on a cooking frenzy. I don’t max out my credit cards buying everyone gifts. Do I have a full fifth of Jameson Black Barrel Irish whisky in the cabinet, though. Yep – I’m ready for the holidays!

Oh, and don’t get me started on “Happy Mother’s day.” Let’s just say that unless you know the person really well, it’s best to leave mention of holidays out of the conversation.

Money can’t buy happiness

Poverty doesn’t buy you squat either.