Can’t – The dead end road

Daily writing prompt

If you had to give up one word that you use regularly, what would it be?

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My first thought was to pass this prompt up. How do you “give up” a word? There are plenty of provocative words I never use, so those are excluded. The keyword here is “regularly” so I was a bit stumped. I read a few others responses, and then a light bulb popped on:

Can’t

It’s a cop out.

I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago. She paid me a nice compliment about my weight loss. I told her I attributed much of it to cutting out french fries.

“Oh, I can’t give up french fries!” she exclaimed.

“You can’t or you won’t?” I thought.

Our conversation progressed to exercising. “Oh, I can’t get up early like that!” when I told her I woke up at 6:00AM to do an exercise video or take a walk.

Hearing enough can’t for one sitting, I offered up a hypothetical:

“Let’s suppose your kid has some sort of illness, and it requires a daily treatment at a hospital. The only appointment time you can get is 6:00AM. Would you tell your child, sorry, I can’t get up that early? I’m thinking you’d buck it up. That’s just my guess.”

Luckily, we are good friends.

Now there are plenty of things that people can’t legitimately do. I can’t be a world-class gymnast. I’m 58, have neuropathy in my left leg and I’m as flexible as a brick. And, I would never lambaste someone with a disability. I wouldn’t accuse a blind person of not wanting to see, nor would I tell someone with a spinal injury that the reason they don’t walk is because they don’t want to. Obviously, there are limits, and a purpose for the word, can’t.

This all brought up an interesting memory. Years ago at Breckenridge ski resort, I was surprised by the number of adaptive skiers on the hills that day. Some were in ski chairs, some had guides to lead them down the hill. They have every reason to use the word can’t, but they didn’t. They found a way, because, well, I guess they don’t like the word much either.

My advice is, if you catch yourself saying can’t, ask yourself if it’s a legitimate can’t, or a won’t.

If it’s a won’t – own it. Won’t gives you the power the change the story.

Can’t is where everything ends.