
A few months ago I was hitting 170lbs, and efforts to manage my intake left me starving and with minimal results. This is nothing new. Managing my weight has, literally, been a lifelong struggle.
I was born chunky (9lb. 10 ounces) and was always the biggest kid in my class. Growing up in the 70’s, my mom shopped for my clothes in the “Husky” section. Worse, she often made my clothes via what was the rage at the time – Stretch & Sew. They had stand-alone stores that sold their fabrics and patterns. I won’t knock her seamstress abilities. She actually wasn’t bad. As a science major, she had an eye for precision, and the fit and cut were always spot on, but I yearned for a regular pair of jeans like what the other kids wore.
Mom started taking me to Weight Watchers when I was eight or nine. I’m sure she mean well, but to me it was a defeat of the soul. Not only could I not have my yum-yums, I was clearly struggling with something other kids weren’t. I was set apart. I remember chewing a lot of sugarless gum and losing around five pounds with relative ease. Then progress stalled. I got frustrated and quit when I knew my weekly weigh-in would show a gain. This would be the pattern of my young life.
I had a somewhat more positive experience in high school. Two of my closest friends were heavy too (that’s not why I liked them). Cyndie was just a really nice person. She always had a smile on her face, and I rarely saw her mad. She was a dreamer, and romantic. Although her parent’s economic status didn’t afford her the most stylish of clothes, her hair and make-up were impeccable. More importantly, she accepted my weirdness in stride. She nicknamed me Bridgy-brat.
Dianna was a bit more complicated. We shared the same sarcastic wit, and we were both a bit more boyish in terms of dress and mannerisms. She almost never wore make-up, and tended towards the grumpy. I definitely saw her mad on an occasion. Sometimes she would give me sideways glances that I could only interpret as annoyance. Still, the three of us were tight through high school.
During our senior year, Dianna and I got a membership to Elaine Powers fitness studio. It was an all-women’s workout facility that offered “Powersize” classes on the hour and weight machines for strength training afterwards. We started going almost every weekday after school. At my lowest point, I got my weight down to 166 lbs. This is why today’s weigh-in was significant. I weigh a half pound less than I did in high school. If I still had any old high school clothes – they would fit. 😉
My road to a healthy weight has been long and often tortured journey. After high school, all the way up until my thirties, I would pack on the pounds gradually until I was about 210lbs. I carried it well enough on my 5’9″ frame, but I never felt comfortable. Chairs felt too small, clothes never fit quite right. I felt like an ogre among fairies.
Years later, I would have an unintentional epiphany that changed the course of my life. But that’s a story for another day.
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