My parents were good, but Carnegie for the win!

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

My parents were wise people, and although it may have seemed like I took very little of their advice early on (I was a late bloomer), some of it did stick. My dad used to say, “A hundred years from now, no one’s going to give a shit.” I don’t know if you’d call that advice per se, but the crux of the message was “don’t sweat the small stuff” and “it’s all small stuff.” When I feel like I’m in a pickle, I’ll think about my dad saying that, and then I think of past pickles, and realized that I did, indeed, survive them.

I would say, though, that the most significant and timely advice I received came directly from Dale Carnegie’s, “How to win friends and influence people.”  If you haven’t read the book, I urge you to do so as soon as you can. It is brilliant and simple, and it literally could change the course of your life.

It may sound dramatic,  but here’s a little story…

Many years ago, I was working for a small regional airline. I worked with a couple of people who were, well… they were ass-kissers.

I get it. We were all young and trying to get ahead in life. I always had a hard time with the brown-nose game. I understand the need for it, but it was never my style. I was, however, reading the aforementioned book, and I thought it made a lot of sense. I didn’t realize I would actually be putting it to good use so quickly.

As part of my job, I had to do a bit of traveling. I was probably on an airplane once every two weeks. Occasionally,  I’d see some of the execs on the plane as well, but they typically used their clout to snatch up the last of the first-class, non-rev seats. One time, though, there were no non-rev seats to be had, and guess who sits next to me in coach but the CEO of the airline.

I wasn’t sure he would even recognize me, but he plopped down and greeted me immediately. This left me both relieved and terrified. Relieved that the ice was broken, terrified that I had about two hours to make myself look like a clueless idiot. I knew what my coworkers would do. They would talk about all the great work they had been doing and all their great ideas.

I had nothing, but I did have the book, so I decided to give its techniques a try. I got him to talk about himself. I asked him how he got into the business, where he grew up, and went to school, etc. etc. He ate it up – people really do love talking about themselves!

We spent the whole two hours chatting about all kinds of things. He was really a very nice man, and I stopped thinking about execs as being “untouchable.” To this day, despite all my social awkwardness, I have a pretty easy time chatting with the higher-ups.

The next day when I returned to work, my coworkers had heard about my face time with the big cheese. They were super-jealous. My boss (who absolutely did not like me) had to tell me how he thought I was smart. Actually,  her words were something like, “I was surprised to hear Kerry say how smart you are.” When I raised an eyebrow at that, she backpeddled and tried to reword it. I just smiled and walked away.

Anyway, if she had been thinking of firing me, it wasn’t going to happen now. A few months later, I would quit of my own volition. My boss got fired about six months after that. The airline eventually folded, and my coworkers went on to do other things. We keep in touch. They are successful as well. I guess ass-kissing pays off, too. 😜